I knew very well that the narrow gate symbolized the Christ himself who saves everyone who believe. My understanding was very simple — a man repented, believed in Christ — recieved salvation and besides with guarantee of security. But once I noticed that there was a word «way» in that verse. It turned out that there was not only the narrow gate but also the narrow way that led to the eternal life. That way only took its begining at the narrow gate. Coming to believe is only the begining of the way. What is the way? The Bible says (Jesus' words):

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him".

I'd understood that meeting the Christ on my life-way was not enough. The meeting itself is very important, but if after that my way and Jesus' way have parted it is not much benefit from that meeting. Weren't there a lot people in history who liked christian ideas, but later they'd become the Christ's foes? So first of all, the Christ is the one who redeemed me, secondly, he is the one who leads me to the perfection, to the perfect inner law which is written not on a paper but in our heart. My favourite verse from the Bible became a Hebrews 8:10

«This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest».

The beginning of true faith is the Comandments written on the tables of stone, the end is the teaching of Jesus Christ written in a heart of any believer. That way cannot be passed without the Christ. That way cannot be passed just by being based on human traditions. As it is written «for the law made nothing perfect». But where is the Christ? What does it mean that he leads me? Isn't it a fantasy? I want to tell you what did it mean for me. Till that time I'd been attending the church for 11 years, I read sermons, I was considered as a good preacher and group leader. Everybody respected me. Once I was told to read a sermon based on the third chapter of Mark's Gospel. Then I especially drew my attention on Mark 3:14,15

«He appointed twelve--designating them apostles--that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons».

I realized — Jesus appointed the desciples that they might be with him first of all. Secondly, send them out to preach, and thirdly, he gave them authority to heal people and drive out demons. I thought that was what Jesus gives to those who become HIS disciple! I'd been coming to close quarters with issue №1 — to be with him, with issue №2 — to be send to preach. But what about issue №3 — gave them authority over diseases and evel spirits? I didn't see it in me, though I considered myself as Jesus' desciple. But suddenly I believed that Jesus really gives such authority to his disciples. Not that I love authority somehow, but I realized that I'd missed something important in my following after Jesus. And I began to seek God with new passion and desire. I understood that if I follow Jesus I must do it properely. I prayed very early in the morning that God might show me the way how was I supposed to live and what to do.

    And once my close friend showed me one forum on the web where the discussion about the problems of the church I'd been attended for 11 years were held. My friend was very amazed and shocked himself by that information so he asked what to do now? I'd read all the information attentively and I was deeply shocked myself by all those facts that were stated. I saw amazing cruelty and manipulations, the destruction of personality, an intimidation as a source of submission to leaders which had often been covered by «good intention» - to reform one's character. I trusted the lines I'd read because I'd seen more than once similar humiliations and cruelty in my own congregation. I'd thought that if even part of that was true how then could we live with that any longer? We had to fall down and repent in dust and ashes, we had to change something. I prayed and asked for the answer from God. Suddenly one verse from the Bible came to my mind «So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed». I rejoiced! Right in that time I'd realized that I was free from fear and servility before «the leaders», though before that I accepted every their word as the truth and if something was not understandable I sought for excuses to that. But that fear disappeared suddenly. I became a truly free man. I realized — the time had come and Jesus Christ had set me free from fear and from the slavary of human's authority, and from the slavary of «what do they think about me». In the evening after an another meeting I came back home full of joy and strength. My mother was sick. She had an antritis. I remembered Mark 3:14,15 and decided to pray for healing. The next day she was completely healed! Glory be to Jesus Christ!!! I got it — freedom from fear was very important for me. Fear and worshiping people had always made me powerless.

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