But when I told everything to the main leader the reaction was very cold and cruel. I was told that critcism of the organization was from Satan. The hard times began. Everything that I got used to began to break down. From «one of the best» I became a «man through whom Satan works» or a «Judas». But that was not important for me anymore, because when I'd lost my authority in the eyes of people I found the Christ himself. That is much more important than anything else. I won't retell you all the details. It stoped when I and some other members were asked to leave the congregation and «not prevent the work of God». It lasted for 9 months because we had been trying to do our best to change something and not just to leave.

    During that time many things had changed in my world outlook. Those words from the Bible that seemed to be «strange» suddenly became filled with deep meaning

«But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called 'teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Christ».

Jesus warned about the relations among Christians might not be like chief and subordinate. On the contrary whoever wants to become great must be a servant and be like the smallest. There is a strict hierarchy in the world but in spiritual world everything is quite different — there is only one Commander — the Christ, others are brothers. Those who are stronger and have more experience in faith are the elders. But they are not like bosses but like servants, like those who lead others by the example of their own righteous and holy life and faith; and they use their gifts for helping others and not for placing others under their authority.

    Suddenly I realized and deeply accepted the essence of the New Testament. It is wriiten clear in Hebrews 8:10-12

«This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest. For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more».

The aim of the New Testament is to make righteousness not just a fear before «lashing» which forces people not to do evil, but the very nature of human. Jesus said not without reason before his death (Mtt.26:28)

«This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness (abandonment) of sins».

That righteousness starts from repentance and forgiveness of sins and comes from the unification with the Christ. The display of that unification is in loving Jesus' commandments more and more and full devotion to the Christ. We always have a choice — to act according to what is right according to God's or to act according to what is profitable or comfortable. The true happiness is to live and act according to God and conscience even if it costs something. And usually it does cost something. But there is no greater torments than when you act according to your own interests and will and against the Christ. There is a great God's support in failures and in forgiveness. But that support is not for «soft fallings» but for possibility to get up and keep going to perfection. «Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.»

    So as I told before, we began the development of the game «Pilgrim's Progress». But we had no money at the beginning except some savings (about 7000$). We spent that money in half a year and it became rather hard to go on. There were no investors, besides we didn't want to become dependent on anyone. Simultaneously I've been writting a program «3D-Brush» with a double purpose, first of all to get some finances for furthere development of the game and secondly to detail our game characters. We didn't like «Zbrush»; we haven't even understood how to draw color. May be if we had examined «Zbrush» and found out how to draw color normaly «3D-Brush» wouldn't have been made :) (I do know now that it is possible to draw color in Zbrush). After a while when it became clear that money was gone we decided to finish 3D-Brush quickly and to establish our own financial foundation to not be dependent on somebody else.

    It was not an easy time. There was no income. Our family was living on my mom's and grandmom's pension (300$). My family consist of myself, my wife, our two children, my mother and Granny. Was it possible to live on that money? Nevertheless we lived pretty good, we were healthy, we were well fed, no one complained. It was interesting that in that Summer in nearby village (about 5 minutes of walking) many villagers asked my wife and my mother to take apples for free and with no limit. Who besides God gained their hearts to us? So that Summer we had a record amount of conservations. But what was the most amazing that no one condemned my life choice. Can you imagine a wife with two children that is just calmly watching her husband who doesn't earn money, though he could earn a lot (believe me there were a lot of propositions)? At that time we could clearly experience a principle «But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.»

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